Who Are You?

  • Posted: May 18, 2011 and this post was last modified June 27, 2011.

I am a single woman living in the US who enjoys playing spades, meeting new people, writing, and keeping my mind as active as I can on most days. I’m cute, funny, witty, fairly intelligent, and am pretty happy with the ‘who’ that I am. I’m a dreamer, a realist, and at times, a walking paradox [aren’t we all??]. I am many things, but I am never defined by you or anyone else.

Sometimes peer pressure is only effective because we try to define ourselves according to our peers. We break down because we let the stones hit us; we do not guard ourselves. And how do we guard ourselves? How do we retrain our minds to know that we are more valuable than the bullies are trying to make us feel?

For some, it is quite easy; sticks and stones will never break these bones. For others, their walls just aren’t sturdy enough.

The problem with walls is that we can often end up blocking out people that we should be letting in. We build up the walls to keep the bully out, but end up keeping everyone else out as well. How do we define who we are, build our foundation, and create a wall that will keep the bully out and the friend in?

Push out the bad. Block the bad from your mind. Don’t let it get in. Know who you are, and don’t let anyone change that. If you are not happy with who you are, change yourself; if someone else is not happy with who you are, change your relationship with them.

Fill your head with good thoughts. Listen to music. Learn something new. Do anything and everything productive enough to help you ‘forget’ the bully, but also improve yourself and keep you in a pretty constant state of happiness.

The bully has so much power because it causes the victim to question, challenge, and even hate who we are. It is the hate that the bully transfers to us that we allow to fester and pester us until we cannot handle it anymore. Some become fatalities to the hate; too many become fatalities to the hate.

For whatever reason, we have been conditioned to believe that good does not exist anymore; there are not happy endings, no fairy tales, and no good can come to anyone just for the sake of good. Our minds have deceived us.

We don’t see the good because we don’t open ourselves up to it; we don’t accept it, we don’t recognize it, we call it false, and we spend so much time in our false reality that we believe the world is the bad the bully has made it out to be.

It’s not.

The bully’s definition of who we are should not define the who we are, and should not alter our reality so negatively. We should not be putting so much stock in what the bully has to say.

Easier said than done…doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

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