Bullycide: Why this Escape Route?

  • Posted: April 5, 2009 and this post was last modified April 3, 2011.

I’m befuddled sometimes by the various reasons for suicide. Whether it be because of a religious hope for a better place, or just because the pain is too much to handle, why such a definite solution?

Pain comes and goes. We will always be hurt by loved ones and strangers alike. I know the feeling of wanting to release the pain. It gets so bottled up inside that words, tears, and anger cannot fully alleviate it. I can understand a cutter’s state of mind because I have wanted to release my pain in that manner at times too. But I did not act on those feelings. I may have done worse in hitting walls and myself, but I have come to learn that we cannot live for other people. We cannot live to please them. And we certainly should not die because of them.

A bully can be hard to handle. And I have come to realize that it is not just a co-worker, a school mate, or a neighbor that can be a bully; your partner, your spouse, or even someone that you tried to call a friend can be your biggest bully. It hurts more when it is someone you know and love; and when they know the power they have over you, it can be quite volatile. I think domestic violence can be considered a form of bullying; after all, most cases of domestic violence start out with degradation and lead into rage. If nothing else, it is a precursor to the violence. Just as a bully may start out teasing, but end up spitting, hitting, and throwing the target around.

Why suicide? Why give a bully the satisfaction? It is so easy to say to someone that they should stand up to a bully. We all know the adage ‘easier said than done’, but what is the worst thing that can come out of standing up to your bully? Death, right? The same death that you want to bring upon yourself?

Perhaps I never knew bullying because I just laughed at the bully in their face. Literally. I did not care if people thought I was weird or cocky. Why? Because at the end of the day, I still got to go home, have my fun, play with my friends, and still be the me that many people do enjoy.

You say you have no friends? Is this because you seclude yourself and don’t let people in for fear of being chastised even more? Or is it because you live in a town too small to find anyone to hang out with?

I can’t believe that. I just cannot.

There is a movie called The Secret which I think is full of crap, but they tell you that your vibes or energy if you will is what can change your future; it can change how people react to you, and bring you good it says. I think it is a load of crap. What really makes people treat you differently is how you treat them first! Think about it: if you are pleasant and joyful with a customer service rep, don’t you find that that rep is kind back? If you are hostile and abusive to that rep, are they as kind then? And how do you feel when you are nice and bubbly versus when you are mean and crude? How you approach people can often determine how they approach you. If you truly want to make friends, be proactive. If you want the bully to leave you alone, prove to him that you are unaffected by his hate.

Of course some bullies are not as easy to escape. That is why you need a good circle of friends or trusted peers to help you battle him. Tell someone in authority, and if the bully is the authority, find someone higher up. There is always someone bigger than your bully. You just have to know where to look. Be proactive. Have a good outlook on your life. You can be anything. You can do anything. I know this because I have done things on my own will. I have no family. And I have made it through life on my own accord. Sure, with the help of friends along the way, but I have a house, a car, a job, and weekends off to play because of my determination not to let the world get me down. I had some bumps along the way, but I overcame. I know the desire to take one’s life; I tried it myself and failed, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that with only one life to live, why not live it to the fullest? You cannot know what is truly out there until you take the steps to find out. Move away from the bully, report the bully, stand up to the bully, or just plain ignore the bully. Do not let the bully make you take your life. It is not worth it. Even if there is a heaven where life is better, why not try all the earthly pleasures you can before reaching that wonderful place? I believe in God, but I still have that hint of ‘what if’ that prevents me from wanting to go to Heaven just yet.

Bullying that leads to suicide is referred to bullycide. Don’t become another statistic. Become another fighter.

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