Bullycide: Why is a Bully a Bully?

  • Posted: July 16, 2011 and this post was last modified July 16, 2011.

Bully

If emotions are a necessity to finding out what is important to us, what we require, and what we value, how do we find out what is important to a bully? And what they require? Why is a bully a bully?

We can often get caught up in thinking ‘bad bully’ when talking about bullycide, but we forget that those kids and people are someone else’s loved ones too. Problem is, we can see that an adult bully is an adult bully based off his childhood; for kids, it is a little harder to see.

Why is a bully a bully?

Certainly just picking on someone can’t classify us as a bully, can it? And why not? You caused undue trauma to a victim; whether it be verbal, emotional, or physical, you bullied them in that instance.

You were just mean? Having a bad day? Let your feelings get the worst of you?

And how do we then sit and presume to tell a bully that he is a bully, not just being mean as we can sometimes be? Don’t we have to ask the ‘why’? Shouldn’t we be speaking to the bullies directly in hopes to find out the why and help them before it becomes an accepted learned behavior in adulthood?

Sometimes a child bully is a bully because he is bullied at home. Sometimes he lacks the other parent and is just acting out. Sometimes he has a low self image of himself and uses others to make him feel better. Sometimes he has just taken the over-emphasized view of what is valued in the home or school and used it against those that don’t have the same view as the majority.

Does a bully have rights?

Don’t we all have rights? Don’t we want equality for all? Not to say a bully should not be punished– we should all be reprimanded when we are in the wrong–but we shouldn’t give up on a bully because he is branded a bully; it’s the closest thing to inaction there is. No, we need to be proactive; we need to engage the bullies. Find out why they are doing what they do rather than expelling them or isolating them for days on end. Get them more involved with things that involve a positive interaction with his peers. Distract the bully from the negative and let him see the good in ‘playing nice with others’ rather than reprimanding him all the time in hopes that he will ‘get the picture’ on his own.

Not to say we give up on a bully now, but we spend so much time on the victim’s end of the scope and forget sometimes that we need to alleviate the triggers before we can alleviate the pain.

Bullycide is the act of suicide as the result of bullying. No child should have to take their life as a result of a bully. Be proactive in your community and find out if your schools have an anti-bully policy and/or program.

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