Bullycide News: YOUR Child at Risk

  • Posted: August 22, 2010 and this post was last modified April 3, 2011.

Do you have a regular routine that you follow each day? You get up in the morning, make a cup of Joe, get the kids up and on their way to school, get ready for work, go to work, come home, help kids with their homework, prepare dinner, eat, clean, get ready for bed so you can rinse and repeat the next day? Your schedule may vary a little from day to day; perhaps you have to take the kids to practice or you actually do not work but rather maintain the house. Whatever the routine, chances are, you try and stick to it just to maintain some order to it all.

But what do we sacrifice for this order?

It is not easy being a kid. Not for all kids at least. Whether it be because of a broken home, troubled home life, peer pressure at school, or just the burden of being a kid, not all kids can handle the pressures of being a kid! Even though a good parent would rather a kid enjoy his childhood and learn to grow into a well-balanced adult, some kids don’t catch on as quickly as others.

We know that you want to spend time with your kids. We know you want to know if they are hurting. We know you want to be their friend while still being a parent, but how do you get through to your child? It’s a question that has no real, definitive answer; for some parents, their kids are willing and active participants in parental teachings, but for others, they don’t quite seem to get the point or their reality doesn’t seem to match up well with the truth you are trying to tell them.

When their truth does not match your truth, how can they discern what is real to them?

Consistency and repetition may instill the behaviors and thought processes that you want to instill in your child, but it can also just frustrate them even more. They go to school and are teased, bullied, and told one thing about who they are or will be, but come home to your love and support which contradicts their daily routine. You are just one person or one couple; you do not spend the better part of 1/3 of the day with your child when they are in school. The power of peer pressure is quite strong when a child’s world revolves primarily around their peers.

How many times do you ask someone how they are doing and they tell you that they are ‘fine’? You accept it because in all actuality, you really ask because this is what you were taught to do: it’s good manners. In all actuality, you quite expect this response and are already waiting for it to get into what you really wanted to get into.

When I ask a friend how they are, I always make sure to append a ‘really’ or something more that says that I really do want to know the honest answer to the question; not a ‘fine’. If they still choose to say things are fine or okay, then I am ok with that; perhaps things are perfectly fine! But at least I made/ke an effort to really know.

Sometimes it only takes a few more words to find out the actual truth. Yet and still with parents and their kids, the barrier can often be much harder than the one between friends. I sometimes wonder if it doesn’t take a hint of creativity to be a great parent just to be able to ‘get through’ to them.

So how do you know if your child is ‘fine’ or ‘F.ucked-up, Insecure, N.eurotic, and E.motional? Truth be told, there is no real concise way to know. Truth be told, there are no absolute truths when it comes to raising kids. Truth be told, that does not give us an excuse not to keep trying to get through to them.

Every child is at risk at being a victim of a bully. Some will actually become the bully and others will just watch the bully choose another victim. Some will be lucky enough never to know either, and others will make failed attempts to help. But the kids spend a good 1/3 of their day or more at school. Something needs to be implemented in our school systems to protect our kids. We respect our teachers’ and administrators’ position to ‘discipline’ our kids with time-out, bad write-ups, visits to the principal’s office, detention, or what ever other kind of system they have in place so why not extend that trust to deal with the bullies properly?

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