Bullycide: A Reader’s Story [Reader Submitted]

  • Posted: April 10, 2010 and this post was last modified June 27, 2011.

I like to hear from the readers because it lets me know that the word is getting heard. User submitted stories will be posted here so long as it is respectful of the community of people as a whole. As follows is a story submitted by a woman named Kirsty; it has been edited only for flow purposes–no sentences or main ideas have been removed.

I am 25 years old, and engaged to be married but my life was never this happy when I was younger. My childhood was full of ups and downs but more so downs than ups. From the age of 3, I could say things went downwards as my mum met her husband to be at that time and he wasn’t what you could call “fatherhood material” as what I can remember from then. He would force feed me meat when I was unable to chew properly. He would put his fingers in my mouth, push the meat to the back of my mouth, close my mouth and the physically move ma mouth so that I had to chew the meat. If I didn’t do as he said he would smack me and then make me sit outside the room.

When I turned 5 years old, he adopted me and then my mum and him got married just before my little brother was born in 1992. From when I started primary school, I was bullied because I was big built, wore glasses, and short. I got bullied all through primary school and most of my way through secondary school. So from the age of 3 I was suffering at home and then home and school. At school would get pushed around, called names, have items that belonged to the school put in my bag and pencil case and then accused of stealing; I would also have pins put on my chair so I would sit on them. I could say from the age of 3 to 15, it was never ending for me.

When I turned 15 I got the chance to have surgery which would help me gain some extra height. When I turned 16 I had completed the first course of surgery, and it was as if after 12 years things were looking up for the first time ever. My mum had split from her husband so I wasn’t getting hassled at home and most the bullies had left school and the ones who were still there had calmed down a lot and it was almost as if they were trying to be friendly with me. When I turned 17, I had completed the second course of surgery which hadn’t went as planned as it left me with nerve damage on one leg and having to use a support and crutches permanently. Apart from that, it looked like my life was just about to get better as I had a boyfriend.

Through all the years of bullying I never ever thought it could or would happen as I was always put down for being short and big built and wearing glasses but here I was 17 years old, having a boyfriend, and about to complete my last year of school. But then just as I was happy, a few months into the relationship, my so called boyfriend let slip that he was only with me because he was sympathetic due to me being on crutches and he didn’t think anyone else would want to be with me. So that ended that relationship.

When I turned 19, I started college studying performing arts and it was as if I was able to start from scratch. It was as if I was starting school and I was NOT having the same experience of bullying. So I made a personality for myself. I didn’t care what was said to me as it was water off a ducks back. I decided if some-one said anything to upset me then I wouldn’t let them. Anyway I managed to complete the course without bullying and with making friends and I am now 25 years old and engaged to marry who was when I was younger “the boy next door” so to speak. So after everything that has happened in the past few years I can officially say that now I am happier than I have ever been before.

When we go to college, it is so easy to reinvent ourselves sometimes. Perhaps we recognize that our experience is going to be what we make it to be so may as well make it a positive one. Or perhaps we notice that we are given a blank slate on which to write and want to write a better story. Or maybe we just get so tired of being bullied that we finally learn that the bully only has as much power as we give them.

Whatever the reason, it would be nice if the victims of bullycide would recognize early on that they are in control of how they react. A bully gets a rise out of our reactions; if we ignore him, he will indeed continue, but grow tired of the lack of reaction.

In speaking of how to stop the bully, perhaps we should look into showing the victim how to have a better vision of themselves, and more confidence in interacting with their peers.

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